so i just found out a friend of mine took this girl's virginity using one of them NYC condoms last week. (4617 views)

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  • hahaha. that poor girl. a) she didn't know any better, and b) she's never going to want to have sex again.
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  • and it probably broke
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  • I used them things to no wicked end. I dunno why they have such a bad rap
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  • 9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 12:45:18 am
    I used them things to no wicked end. I dunno why they have such a bad rap



    damn, girl. yr vag must be slick as a slip n slide, cause those things are harsh.
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  • Did they stop stocking them because they allegedly broke or bc they ran out
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  • viviangirl posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 12:50:36 am
    9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 12:45:18 am
    I used them things to no wicked end. I dunno why they have such a bad rap


    damn, girl. yr vag must be slick as a slip n slide, cause those things are harsh.


    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    like a dish glove. a very fragile dish glove.
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  • i moved into this apt last week and the previous tenant left me some furniture, a copy of the fountainhead, and a bunch of nyc condoms
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  • i am trying really hard to hold back from a "broke from the breeze of a gentle queef" joke. but it's true :(
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  • Are they really that bad? I feel like they have a bad rep 'cause they're free.
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  • If you use astroglide, they are fine.
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  • ain't nothing free. see: the morning after pill.
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  • Them shits are not conducive to sloppy dehydrated whiskey sex
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  • Them shits are not conducive to healthy boners
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  • Yeah, the last thing I want to think about whilst getting my swerve on is the Z train.
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  • i use them too, no idea what anyone is talking about.
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  • annihilaters posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 1:39:20 am
    Yeah, the last thing I want to think about whilst getting my swerve on is the Z train.




    hahahahahadsfghj
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  • they're Durex condoms, you morons. They're not made at some NYC Condom Factory. Like any other condoms, they suck and you have to be careful. Just because you tried to stuff your limp sausage into some half drunk dry vagina and they're free with obnoxious packaging doesnt make them defective.
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  • hahahaha
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  • er...Lifestyles, I meant.


    Lifthtyleth!
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  • white_trash posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 1:42:32 am
    they're Durex condoms, you morons. They're not made at some NYC Condom Factory. Like any other condoms, they suck and you have to be careful. Just because you tried to stuff your limp sausage into some half drunk dry vagina and they're free with obnoxious packaging doesnt make them defective.



    aaassssssssssshkjllllllllllllllllllaaahsm
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  • madeline you are so gotdang cute loool
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  • btw if anyone wants to come over.. ;-*
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  • they're worse than the free ones they give to the tranny hookers. and that's a fact.
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  • she has no idea how lucky she is that sbordone just signed off
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  • white_trash posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 1:42:32 am
    they're Durex condoms, you morons. They're not made at some NYC Condom Factory. Like any other condoms, they suck and you have to be careful. Just because you tried to stuff your limp sausage into some half drunk dry vagina and they're free with obnoxious packaging doesnt make them defective.


    eh. i've barely used them. but sometimes it's fun to make jokes.
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  • the packaging on mine is different than that one.
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  • 9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 12:45:18 am
    I used them things to no wicked end. I dunno why they have such a bad rap


    seriously, not one problem ever. the meme that they suck or whatever is an urban legend, its the same shit you get in the store
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  • dude, they're less lubricated or something. i swear.
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  • they're MORE CONDOMY.
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  • they are straight up regular lifestyles. you can look it up if you want
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  • maybe your vagina is just dry.
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  • any broad who doesn't have a bottle of Crisco next to her bed is a dealbreaker anyway
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  • i also hate lifestyles, so this makes sense. trojans are so much better it's unreal.
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  • lila_engel posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:05:42 am
    they're MORE CONDOMY.



    AHAHAHAHHAHGHHHHAHHAHHA
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  • my friends used to keep a pump bottle of lube on their nightstand. they didn't even bother hiding that shit.
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  • white_trash posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:07:41 am
    any broad who doesn't have a bottle of Crisco next to her bed is a dealbreaker anyway


    word.

    Also, buy some damn "special" condoms if you got gripes. You're all grown ass men.
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  • i feel like such a scumbag carrying rubbers around in my makeup bag. like, oh no- don't worry I BROUGHT MY OWN.
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  • since nobody asked, i prefer durex.
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  • i apparently don't need "special" condoms. i must be talented

    ::moonwalks::
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  • wait, back up - i thought trojans were supposed to be lower quality, and lifestyles and durex were supposed to be the best?

    that sex ed teacher done LIED TO ME
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  • annihilaters posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:10:37 am
    white_trash posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:07:41 am
    any broad who doesn't have a bottle of Crisco next to her bed is a dealbreaker anyway

    word.

    Also, buy some damn "special" condoms if you got gripes. You're all grown ass men.




    the herb I'm fucking needs XL Magnums. He can buy that shit. I aint getting stuck with a box of giant-ass condoms

    *carts uterus around in wheelbarrow*
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  • ahahaha. i don't even know what "special" condoms ARE. hahahaha. i just really hate the nyc things. maybe it's because they sit in fishbowls next to windows and BAKE in the nyc sun all day? i don't know.
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  • i hate buying condoms because my bodega guys take the piss out of me everytime with broken english "hey mr. sexy time! EHHHHHHH? EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?????"
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  • it's the low quality that makes it feel good, jes. duh
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  • 9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:13:40 am
    annihilaters posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:10:37 am
    white_trash posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:07:41 am
    any broad who doesn't have a bottle of Crisco next to her bed is a dealbreaker anyway

    word.

    Also, buy some damn "special" condoms if you got gripes. You're all grown ass men.



    the herb I'm fucking needs XL Magnums. He can buy that shit. I aint getting stuck with a box of giant-ass condoms

    *carts uterus around in wheelbarrow*



    hahaha- just think of how awesome it will make your next lover feel, though, when it's all you have to offer him.
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  • lila_engel posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:11:54 am
    i feel like such a scumbag carrying rubbers around in my makeup bag. like, oh no- don't worry I BROUGHT MY OWN.


    WHAT?
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  • WOAGHnotrust subway condo...

    engel, naw its cool.
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  • it's not scummy to say A. I'm not a dumbass, I gots protection, and B. I'm not a scumbag, I gots protection
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  • doom posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:13:37 am
    wait, back up - i thought trojans were supposed to be lower quality, and lifestyles and durex were supposed to be the best?


    hhmmmmMM i thought it was trojan > durex > lifestyles
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  • the visual i had of this was funny. it involved me taking out one of those long sheets of them and having it kind of drop while i winked.

    i almost always carry them with me, btw.
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  • but then they get all messed up in my purse or bag and i think they're probably no good any more.
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  • THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME- IT'S ABOUT MY FRIEND.
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  • you know how the nurse in school or whoever shows you how you can fit a condom over everything, even a volleyball? Well, just because you can doesn't mean that shit's comfortable. If you're having condom trouble, experiment till you find your fit. Like mine, XXX elephant trunk limited edition magnums.
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  • i don't actually give a fuck what kind of condom is going inside of me as long as it will keep me from having someones bastard...or you know aborting it.
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  • UGH
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  • sweetwillis posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:19:45 am
    i don't actually give a fuck what kind of condom is going inside of me as long as it will keep me from having someones bastard...or you know aborting it.


    not having to go to the doctor for other shit is kinda nice, too
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  • look, dudes, i just thought it was crappy that my friend couldn't spring for some PAY RUBBERS when he took this girl's virginity. that's all.

    where's the romance?
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  • that is implied...fucking canadians.
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  • recession lila saving that money was romantic.
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  • two guesses which one of them is nineteen.
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  • 19 is too old to be a virgin. Is she awkward or malformed or sthng
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  • i went to a very conservative jr high in the heart of the mormon wonderland of mesa, az and condoms were not mentioned ONCE in sex ed. it was taught by some tina fey looking bitch who kept telling us that she was a 28yo virgin and "if you wait until you're married, you will have the best sex of your life! i GUARANTEE it. i promise you. do you guys want to have the best sex of your life?!"
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  • that makes perfect sense. Don't talk about it don't think about it don't do it, then get married and be a pro at it.


    also, hi kuusi.
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  • hahaha. if you wait til you're married, and you only fuck one person after that (Which i think is kind of the point, right?) then ipso facto it WILL be the best sex of your life, you poor asshole.
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  • also, ellen, my creepy canadian thread earlier was mostly for you
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  • Figures that everyone logged in at 2:30 am would be in a goddamn thread about condoms
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  • GUYTH DON'T NEGLECT THE OTHER THREADS I'M BORED
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  • beans posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:29:40 am
    Figures that everyone logged in at 2:30 am would be in a goddamn thread about condoms


    we're all typing with one hand any way
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  • angelica, there are TWO threads about condoms. hahahaha. fucking condoms.
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  • HAHAHA I just noticed, SWEET
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  • condoms or vag cups, genitinsels are ur shiz
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  • i have three different brands of condoms.
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  • i will never regret anything more than that damn vag cup thread.
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  • man, I couldn't WAIT to lose my virginity. I was so paranoid I was gonna die a virgin. I didn't even care if I didn't have sex again til whenever I just wanted that shit OFFA ME
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  • do ya
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  • TOO SLOW :(
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  • ahahaha. "let's get this done with, then."
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  • 9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:35:16 am
    man, I couldn't WAIT to lose my virginity. I was so paranoid I was gonna die a virgin. I didn't even care if I didn't have sex again til whenever I just wanted that shit OFFA ME


    loool same. i lost it at 15 and didn't DO IT again until two years later
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  • My friend said something like this: Guys losing their virginity is like a roller coaster, it's really fun and it's a minute long. Girls losing their virginity is like getting dental work done. Uncomfortable and seemingly endless.
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  • Hah, I didn't really think about it at all. That's why nerds are late bloomers, we're too busy memorizing silent hill maps to think about other riff raff
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  • I tried at 15 with my boyfriend and we couldn't get it to go in. Which was hilsrious, because he had a 3 inch penis. I tried again with some other dude and had the same prombel. My friends started caling me "cunt with the iron clamp". Finally whe I was 16 or 17 I threw it at some classical guitarist I had a crush on and it went just fine. I kind of even enjoyed it.
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  • lila_engel posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:35:08 am
    i will never regret anything more than that damn vag cup thread.


    NOOOO! this was my final push to actually make a purchase. i am officially in the vag cup market.
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  • my mom had to have her hymen surgically removed. luckily, i had a boyfriend who didn't mind my ear-shattering screams of pain as much as my dad apparently minded my mom's.
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  • annihilaters posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:38:07 am
    My friend said something like this: Guys losing their virginity is like a roller coaster, it's really fun and it's a minute long. Girls losing their virginity is like getting dental work done. Uncomfortable and seemingly endless.


    its like you are chanelling the author of the "you might be a redneck if..." book series
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  • lila_engel posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:42:14 am
    my mom had to have her hymen surgically removed.


    D:
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  • and jordan, that fella with the 3 incher was bob b
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  • That's why I got voted nineteenth funniest poster and most annoying.
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  • lila_engel posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:42:14 am
    my mom had to have her hymen surgically removed.[/quote]


    I was totally afraid this was gonna happen to me! I had my mom take me to the gyno for "personal reasons" and he did an exam and was really funny. We hooted and hollered the whole time he was rooting around in there and when I came out, steam was coming out of my mom's ears and she yanked me outta there faster than I could say "what attending nurse"
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  • i know. good thing it's been a decade and a half, so i'm pretty much over it.
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  • 9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:13:40 am
    the herb I'm fucking needs XL Magnums. He can buy that shit. I aint getting stuck with a box of giant-ass condoms

    *carts uterus around in wheelbarrow*


    i still have some of these in my house from this guy i used to date, and every once in awhile i look at them and am like, "so, what do you guys want to do now?" :|
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  • jesus 111 posts by morning...
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  • one of my students used to say about lifestyles (not NYC condoms in particular, although that was the context in which it came up), "them shits gets girls pregnant." take it as you will, boys!
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  • viviangirl posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:18:26 am
    GIS for "special condom":



    0_0



    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WTF







    .... i want one
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  • caketown posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 8:29:10 am
    9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:13:40 am
    the herb I'm fucking needs XL Magnums. He can buy that shit. I aint getting stuck with a box of giant-ass condoms

    *carts uterus around in wheelbarrow*

    i still have some of these in my house from this guy i used to date, and every once in awhile i look at them and am like, "so, what do you guys want to do now?" :|






    ,k,,kjljllkhgfdsaf
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  • ITT I LEARN THAT GIRLS HAVE CONDOM PREFERENCES
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  • I think those NYC condoms are lubed up with CHALK.

    seriously, get the variety tin or go to babes in toyland* and buy a bunch of different kinds.

    * makes for a fun 4th date!
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  • i have a condom preference.
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  • the best condom is no condom. yay for being in a LTR.
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  • do jews do another seder today?
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  • squared posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:19:22 am
    the best condom is no condom. yay for being in a LTR.




    yes but t-6 months and if you're still together you won't be fucking anymore ~*~
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  • its been a year and a half and average is 1.25x per day, babycakes.
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  • squared posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:19:22 am
    the best condom is no condom. yay for being in a LTR.


    open relationship = open sores
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  • ellen i thought you were allergic to latex
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  • 9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:22:43 am
    honeymoon ends @ 2 years. YOU WILL SEE


    :|
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  • i will make an updated report on sexual frequency in november then.
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  • around the end of year two of my five-year relationship, we had sex about three times a week and he begged for blowjobs four hundred times a day.
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  • no one ever answers my joo questions
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  • yes they do. i mean, have one.
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  • caketown posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:29:23 am
    around the end of year two of my five-year relationship, we had sex about three times a week and he begged for blowjobs four hundred times a day.




    weren't you guys fucking other people?
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  • sofa
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  • 9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:31:02 am
    caketown posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:29:23 am
    around the end of year two of my five-year relationship, we had sex about three times a week and he begged for blowjobs four hundred times a day.



    weren't you guys fucking other people?


    different dude.
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  • what does sofa mean again?
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  • its all about chemistry dudes.
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  • "couch of the lost ones"
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  • i would like to point out that just because i made a thread that is genital-related, this thread should not be a mark against me in the "she talks about her vagina all damn day" column.
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  • JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS, THE FUCK IS THIS, CHARADES?
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  • sofa
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  • white_trash posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:35:10 am
    JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS, THE FUCK IS THIS, CHARADES?




    pasover sayder
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  • it's from asdfjkl;/elliott - he related that when drama goes down on chinese messageboards, the vultures post "sofa" when they plan on watching it unfold.

    IMAGE REMOVED CLICK TO VIEW
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  • orlando what do you know about passover
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  • brisket EVERY DAY, nigga
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  • this jew broad, Diane. She's from the Five Towns. I've been trying to bang her for a month. She won't go out with me alone. She's prejudiced against Italians. You fuckin believe that? In this day and age, a jew broad, prejudiced against Italians.
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  • haha orlando
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  • white_trash posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:46:51 am
    this jew broad, Diane. She's from the Five Towns. I've been trying to bang her for a month. She won't go out with me alone. She's prejudiced against Italians. You fuckin believe that? In this day and age, a jew broad, prejudiced against Italians.


    Well yea, she's from the 5 towns. So.........
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  • i banged a jew broad once and my mom got fuckin heated
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  • white_trash posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:58:33 am
    uh...


    she will probably do the sexin', but not the lovey dovey dating part.
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  • Also, regarding the thread topic - who gives a shit? At least they used a condom.
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  • CaptainBlah posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 11:01:43 am
    white_trash posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 10:58:33 am
    uh...

    she will probably do the sexin', but not the lovey dovey dating part.


    :|
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  • ya see I should have gotten a slammie for DOES NOT GET THE JOKE.

    goofellas, I get it.
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  • N00B MOST LIKELY TO HAVE BEEN BORN AFTER GOODFELLAS WAS MADE: captainn blah
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  • Sploogefellas
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  • that movie is awesome.

    eliz i think i grew out of it, maybe i just forced my body to get over it.
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  • These condoms hurt like hell
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  • a lot of dick flexin itt
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  • mmzing22 posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 12:40:24 pm
    These condoms hurt like hell


    Do you need to be wearing one right now?
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  • i wasnt planning on taking her virginity, actually i didnt even know she was a virgin. what the shit.
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  • who fucks virgins anymore, anyway?!
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  • wrap your dick in renyolds wrap
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  • BGREYS posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 3:07:12 pm
    wrap your dick in renyolds wrap



    and wrap a scrunchie around the base to hold it on
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  • BenjaminShakes posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:55:39 pm
    i wasnt planning on taking her virginity, actually i didnt even know she was a virgin. what the shit.


    wat

    are you really the dude
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  • ooh. now it's popcorn time f'reals.
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  • sofa
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  • I used to roll w/ magnums until this one night when I was scooping some at the bodega this brother accused me of "faking the funk." he was all "man, magnums were made for brothas, you ain't foolin' nobody."
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  • "yeah, keep tellin' yourself that Tyrone"
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  • so then you stopped??
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  • [quote]fjørd posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 4:20:05 pm
    so then you whipped out your erect penis??quote]
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  • I think Eliz means sofa king retarded?

    Ellen, I THOUGHT you made that up.

    These NYC shits are always mad small on whoever's tossin it in me.
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  • as ian would say, you sound poor
    buy some real shits!
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  • (that was to everyone)
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  • oh noes, i definately was.

    i grew out of it though, like being allergic to strawberries.
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  • Berzerko posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 4:16:54 pm
    I used to roll w/ magnums until this one night when I was scooping some at the bodega this brother accused me of "faking the funk." he was all "man, magnums were made for brothas, you ain't foolin' nobody."



    but those are the only ones that don't kill my b0n4r
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  • i've never used those. i don't think i ever would. i wouldn't trust my life with something that's given out free at bars
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  • congratulations?
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  • consider my mind blown
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  • who knows that i even used the condoms.
    holy game of telephone batman!
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  • this thread keeps getting better and better.
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  • BenjaminShakes posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 6:09:40 pm
    julie isnt my friend either.


    (._.)
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  • Sbordone posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 1:09:43 pm
    SUP LURKS?


    jkhgfds
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  • 9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:24:51 am
    19 is too old to be a virgin. Is she awkward or malformed or sthng


    hey asshole i was 20
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  • Way to out yourself and then pretend you're not puffed up with pride over your sexual prowess, dude.
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  • julie, say the word and we dogpile this herb
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  • readying the self-clowning oven gif
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  • 9 y.o. virgin posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 7:21:10 pm
    julie, say the word and we dogpile this herb
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  • Ha- ben's okay. I didn't name his name because I actually like the kid. Guess the feeling wasn't mutual....
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  • sounds like a turd. julie, come to happy hr and/or superdrag and/or post-show drankin tomorrow night.
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  • I leave for la Saturday at like 6 am. And work late tomorrow. Boooo

    Have fun, ladies
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  • sofa
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  • also i DINT gawker this
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  • why isnt there more drama in here
  •  » quote
  • ::shakes cage::
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  • also how did it take you guys an HOUR and fifteen minutes to realize the dude in question was posting
  •  » quote
  • :|
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  • :(
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  • this is my favorite thread
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  • those nyc condoms are mini-sized, i swear to god. they cut off my circulation.
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  • aroundthewayboy translation posted this on April 10th, 2009 @ 2:26:25 pm
    dear gawker: please to suck my giant polish dick
  •  » quote
  • hahaha. just putting it out there, are you.
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  • ::high fives atwb::
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  • BenjaminShakes posted this on April 9th, 2009 @ 6:09:40 pm
    julie isnt my friend either.


    LOL
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