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i have a tampon stuck (18301 views)

74,150 topics | 32 active members, 13 of which are posting | 0 of which are chatting

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selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 3:56:29 pm
why does this kind of stupid shit only happen to me?

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 3:58:06 pm
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annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 3:58:07 pm
that's what fingers are for

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 3:58:39 pm
annie, i've been digging in there but it's all upside down and i can't find the string :(

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 3:58:44 pm
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veebs posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 3:59:13 pm


selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:05:25 pm
anyone want to come over and help me fish it out?

gackandcheese posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:05:33 pm


veebs posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:06:59 pm
::crosses fingers for toxic shock::

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:07:08 pm


annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:07:20 pm
the vagagagina is only 4" deep, you can get it

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:07:45 pm
it's shoved up deep in a corner and like crumpled :(

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:09:15 pm
maybe you took it out and forgot

gackandcheese posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:10:03 pm
how is this possible?

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selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:11:01 pm
no, i can feel it there and it's all crushed and won't be coaxed out!

fuuuuuck

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:11:49 pm
you're just gonna have to dig

asdfjkl; posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:11:50 pm
something bad is going to happen if you keep sticking your fingers in there

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:12:38 pm
my palms are growing hair; mom was RIGHT

fjørd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:15:14 pm
give this little guy $50 and he'll set you right

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annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:15:40 pm
hahaha

asdfjkl; posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:18:19 pm
this is actually a job for the world's tallest man, you know, the guy who saved a dolphin by using his long skinny arms to fish some plastic out of its throat

asdfjkl; posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:18:26 pm
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selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:19:27 pm
maybe cosmo kramer can save the day?

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:22:18 pm
PUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

breathe breathe

PUSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

simmer posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:22:44 pm
My tampon is stuck, what should I do?
First of all try to relax and don't panic as this will make the tampon more difficult to remove. Simply squat down and insert your thumb and forefinger into your vagina. Sweep the fingers back and forth and try to feel the withdrawal cord or tampon. Once you feel the cord/tampon, grasp it and pull it out.

If you cannot find the tampon you will have to see a Doctor immediately. It is important that you remove the tampon as soon as you can. A tampon should not be left in your vagina for more than 8 hours.

lol, this [www.beinggirl.co.uk] site.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:23:05 pm
i can't believe i'm such a dim bulb

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:23:45 pm
I imagine this is because you didnt get the tamps specifically made for sideways koot4rz.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:24:56 pm
i'm about to have a fucking panic attack now!

simmer posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:26:17 pm
selena, just calm down and try the squating thing. it is there, you just have to relax enough to loosen it.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:27:44 pm
"Wait, is that a tampon? This isn't Martin Short!!"

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selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:31:16 pm
i'll try that later. i'm way too uptight right now to try and finagle this fucker out of my minge right now. AAAGHGHGHAHGHGHG

bowlon posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:36:56 pm
jump up and down

mushmouth posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:37:18 pm
take a warm bath, then try it again.

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:38:40 pm
read some erotica.

megp posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:40:33 pm
i had this happen once and i had to have my boyfriend reach up, grab it and pull that motherbitch out. it brought us closer together.

cerpintaxt posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:45:05 pm
Go to sleep and forget about it. Your body will absorb it and make you stronger.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:48:15 pm
ange, you think getting all hot and bothered will help? i mean it will get the ole tunnel engorged which may make it easier for me to yank the puppy out.

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:49:06 pm
well. you'll have fun. you'll relax. you'll get juicy. these all seem like good ideas.

shark_vs_zombie posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:51:38 pm
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:54:03 pm
man i should invite someone over too.

ANYBODY UP FOR A FISTING SESH?

666 SKULLS posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:54:29 pm
douche, then push.

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:54:51 pm
post a cl ad and post responses..

666 SKULLS posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:56:12 pm
find a williamsburg hipster d-bag and have him pull it out

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:58:06 pm
ange, that is an awesome idea. i AM totally going to do that!

prepare for laughter, y'all.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 4:59:37 pm
I would fish it out for you if you bought me lunch.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:07:13 pm
brady you're also in seattle

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:07:43 pm
It was a hypothetical.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:12:24 pm
i wonder if anyone will reply to this [newyork.craigslist.org]

maybe i should have been more sexy about it.

quite_FRANKLY posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:21:43 pm
I. Just. Don't. Know.

discongeniality posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:24:46 pm
"i didnt realize that sort of thing could happen"

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:31:40 pm
well i guess nobody wants to help me get this tampon out. i will have to read erotica instead.

damn.

augmented skankbot posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:35:49 pm
WHAT.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:39:47 pm
man this bloody fucking sucks

augmented skankbot posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:42:07 pm
this is something you can't really ask your friends (or a stranger) to do.

get thee to an emergency room if you're sincerely freaked.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:45:17 pm
my bloody post on CL was flagged and removed! wtf, it was under "casual encounters." i guess a dude posting about getting his dong sucked off by a stranger is OK, but not someone requiring medical attention.

augmented skankbot posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:51:21 pm
oh, wait, ok this is for LOLs.

Um, well in that case, I recommend a foot of fishing line, a glue trap, and a steady hand.

shark_vs_zombie posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:53:29 pm
yeah emergency room. its more common than you'd think

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:54:53 pm
i recommend building a time machine and shove it in there lighter last time

shark_vs_zombie posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:58:47 pm
9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:54:53 pm
when this happened to me i just got the old hippie drummer to git it out

alyosha posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:58:47 pm
vaseline

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:58:49 pm
i have a pair of extra long needle nose pliers.. but you have to throw
them away aftewards. also i'm not de... nevermind this is just too
fucking nasty.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:01:34 pm
ian, come on, i need your help

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:17:14 pm
I dunno why anybody would be afraid to help their pal out. I mean, the main hurdle would be her willingness to let somebody conjur it out and she seems fine with it.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:17:36 pm
iaaaaaaan?

simmer posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:18:34 pm
girl, work on getting that shit out. toxic shock syndrome is no joke. i think ange's erotica/porn idea is a good one.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:21:48 pm
i know, i'm starting to feel a little crampy

ilikerufies posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:24:28 pm
.

st3 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:26:53 pm
the best way to get a lost tampon out of you is to post about it on the internet.

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:27:47 pm
that's helpful

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:28:12 pm
don't puss out, ian. get it out the puss.

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:28:28 pm
i'll do it for $200

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:29:52 pm
boast post

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:30:03 pm
you are a high roller and i can't afford your needle nose pliers :(

rachel posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:32:13 pm
send in the starnosed mole

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IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:32:44 pm
this is true.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:33:14 pm
rachel, that guy is gonna tear my junk apart with those claws!!!

DO NOT WANT

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:34:00 pm
ugh rachel wtf

ilikerufies posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:34:15 pm
geezis rach!!

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:35:22 pm
so ian are you coming over or what. bring the pliers. i'll buy you dinner?

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:36:54 pm
$500

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:37:51 pm
your price just doubled! WTF

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:38:40 pm
who will document the event?

jose posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:38:58 pm
i would totally help you get this out. i dont live in NY though.

i am fascinated by home medical procedures.

someone's gotta do it.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:39:36 pm
just throw a rubber glove on and git in there

fjørd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:40:23 pm
who won the wb tinyhands event? eliz?

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:40:40 pm
i need like 10 boxes of rubber gloves.

jose posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:40:44 pm
i have rubber gloves too. my stepdad is a doctor so i have tons of medical/first aid emergency supplies.

st3 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:41:07 pm
git err dun!!

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:41:11 pm
ian is scared of vagina! More proof of his homoness !!!

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:41:59 pm
roland, this is selena we're talking about.. she's got a vagina wider
than the chunnel.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:45:36 pm
um, my vagina is tight as a fist, stupid

jose posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:46:57 pm
any vagina can be dilated to significantly large diameter. it takes time, and can be painful. how do you think a baby's head can come out of that thing?

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:47:37 pm
throw some Ds in that bitch


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selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:59:25 pm
i'm starting to get woozy

lindsay lohandjob posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:01:45 pm
i am not reading this thread but this happened to me once and you are going to need both LUBE and ANOTHER PERSON to get it out

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:07:04 pm
alyosha posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 5:58:47 pm
vaseline



NOOOOOOOOO not vaseline, now that will fuck up yr ladiness


i assume this couldn't be much worse than the time i... anyway... maybe you should get on your elbows and knees on your bed, spread your legs really wide, and stick your hand up in there. pretend that ian is there watching you and getting really grossed out and that is turning you on.

lindsay lohandjob posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:07:44 pm
also maybe make a speculum out of spoons and you wont need the other person

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:07:56 pm
prof, that is an A+ suggestion

p.s. i want to know what happened to you!

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:08:36 pm
GET. IN. THERE. [accel18.mettre-put-idata.over-blog.com]

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:08:49 pm
condom.

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:09:10 pm
(cokedick)

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:10:03 pm
ahhhhhhhhh man. that must have been a dilly to remove!

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:10:32 pm
I have a friend whose BF removed an errant jimmy hat with needlenose pliers.

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:11:40 pm
from where

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:12:05 pm
from deep inside her lady place

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:12:10 pm
i am sooooo not TMIing this anymore. so not.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:14:06 pm
i love the TMI when it comes to this stuff!

simmer posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:15:15 pm
9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:11:40 pm
from where

LOLOLOLOL

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:16:07 pm
me too. i should make a fake for my TMI

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:17:07 pm
ohmgod why did i eat pot cookie :(

TIME MACHINE

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:17:57 pm
i want pot cookie

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:19:12 pm
i have this other one but it's going directly out the window

i'd bring it back but etc

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:20:05 pm
do you think if someone ate yr poo they would get high?

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:20:56 pm
that goes back to an issue raised not too ling ago:


if somebody eats a human being and you eat their shit are you a cannibal?

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:21:48 pm
no, you're just a shit eater, brady

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:21:52 pm
also, chickens and eggs.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:22:22 pm
what if the person has porr digestion and there are some raw human chunks in it

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:22:38 pm
the nookie

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:23:06 pm
haven't you seen those "cannibalism is a state of mind" t-shirts

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:23:08 pm
so ian when are you coming over. bring dexter!

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:26:39 pm
i just broke my ankle

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:27:20 pm
i'll tape it up for you with this tampon. now hurry up; i'm about to pass out from TSS

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:27:33 pm
nice knowing you

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:29:04 pm
your cavalier attitude towards my existence is cold and disheartening

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:29:38 pm
c'est la vie

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:33:34 pm
::dies::

::haunts ian::

brindle posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:35:48 pm
this thread is disGUSting

brindle posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:36:11 pm
also, someone go to the bodege and get me a 40.

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:36:20 pm
i love this thread :D

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:36:34 pm
it's not like i want this thing stuck in there, you know :(

brindle posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:37:22 pm
i just think this thread is going to haunt me next time i insert a tampon'sall

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:37:24 pm
how much of this elapsed time have you actively been spending with yr hand in yr pussay?

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:37:37 pm
i'm starting to worry about you, dear.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:38:53 pm
have you involved the cats? They love grabbin at strings.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:39:04 pm
i'm too scared to try this again; i'm seriously about to panic

e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:39:48 pm
who thinks this will end up in gawker?

PS: SNEEZE!

brindle posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:40:07 pm
i didn't read the thread... did you try needlenose pliers?

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:40:29 pm
it's just yr pussy, don't be scared. don't let it win

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:41:18 pm
i tried to take a dump because sometimes that will dislodge tampons too but that didn't work :(

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:41:31 pm
if it comes down to this. i'll reach in there and pull it out. but i'll want you to buy me some latex gloves.

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:41:48 pm
pull back your nutsack and give me two good coughs

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:42:10 pm
hahah thank you ange. i will buy you 300 pairs of latex gloves.

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:42:47 pm
well i sure as hell hope i wont need 300. i really think that it shouldnt be too hard to get it out.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:42:54 pm
whoever ends up being the cooter fritterer, we need pix. X-out the giner if you must, but I need to see the facial expressions involved.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:44:00 pm
fuck craigslist for killing me with TSS

e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:44:17 pm
since it's a tampon, you're obviously on your period- can you just let the flow loosen things up in there for a couple hours???

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:46:10 pm
(7:44) me: haha you're gonna die
(7:45) selenerd: So sad

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:46:28 pm
i'm hoping that works, E_W, but it's toward the end and it did get jammed up in my vag by a battering ram or something :(

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:47:27 pm
i hate you ian meyer, i hate you so much!

Transmigrant posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:48:08 pm
selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:46:28 pm
i'm hoping that works, E_W, but it's toward the end and it did get jammed up in my vag by a battering ram peen or something :(

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:48:38 pm
haha trevor, ian suggested that i use your p33n to get it out

gackandcheese posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:49:00 pm
why not just light the string?

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selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:49:34 pm
the string is shoved up in there too :(

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:51:11 pm
how long has this thing been up there?

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:51:19 pm
definitely use trevor's peen to see if it can get it out. report back. i've been trying to decide if this boy's alright or not.. i mean considering his friends..

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:51:55 pm
annie: last night

Transmigrant posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:52:23 pm
my peen is going nowhere near that axe wound.

gackandcheese posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:52:48 pm
seriously, i can't believe the cl community flagged your post. it's a certifiable fetish! they had a porn called "period pieces" at the shop i worked at in college.

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:52:51 pm
um.. if that's not a 100% cotton then you have risk of toxic shock now.

it's the synthetic materials that cause toxic shock.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:52:55 pm
that's what i said, trevor!

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:54:13 pm
annie, i'm already a nervous wreck :(

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:54:33 pm
lolz

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:54:59 pm
get lets get that out of there.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:55:28 pm
godspeed you brown tamporer

gackandcheese posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:55:50 pm
jesus mary and joseph, jaws of life STAT!

Transmigrant posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:56:03 pm
I'll might consider fisting it out for $150 bones. Beats Toxic Shock. Doesn't beat Angie wanting to do it for a burger.

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:56:05 pm
then go to the hospital and get it removed

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:57:53 pm
i have no insurance right now.
fuuuuck

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:58:29 pm
well if you end up with toxic shock then you're gonna have thousands of dollars of bills versus a couple hundred

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:59:00 pm
so how was everyone's weekend otherwise?

gackandcheese posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:59:15 pm
eat some kashi or something so you'll have to poop. maybe it'll influence the 'pon in yr poon.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:59:28 pm
i'll go to doc L tmw. he'll be THRILLED

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:00:12 pm
you're waiting another 12-18 hours? that's not terribly smart

Transmigrant posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:00:16 pm
Just get Ange to do it. And buy her burgers. And then give me the left over burgers.

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:01:47 pm
trevor i dont eat burgers. if i did it, it'd be to help not for burgers, money or even lols.

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:02:30 pm
selena just go to the ER at woodhull or something. Don't be stupid.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:03:09 pm
i'll be triaged for like ten hours. fuck that, i'm gonna pop a squat and try this now

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:03:48 pm
but don't reject the lols. Lols come when they come and only a fool dismisses.

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:04:04 pm
well you can die if you get toxic shock. i suggest getting it out yourself or going to woodhull.

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:04:12 pm
can't you just use tweezers though? Just be careful you dont lose them up there as well

gackandcheese posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:04:52 pm
seems she needs tongs, not tweezers, wt.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:05:00 pm
man i'll have a whole sewing kit up there soon

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:05:28 pm
i'm starting to question anthony's experience with the vagina..

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:05:53 pm
yeah but she's not gonna get a pair of tongs up her twat. A skewer would be bad, too.

e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:06:22 pm
???
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gackandcheese posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:06:28 pm
go swimming in the ocean! i'll bet there's something in there that could help.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:07:39 pm
ooh yes, like an octopus!!!

discongeniality posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:07:49 pm
relax, get into a position where your knees are flexed as near up to your ears as possible, and then bear down (gently in your case) as if you're peeing.
this is the ideal position to put women in labor into, so it should help you out in this case. it will shorten your ladycave as much as possible.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:08:59 pm
thank you genie. i'm gonna try this now.
this is worse than the time i got a ben wa ball stuck up in there.

plague posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:09:06 pm
Id hate to see the filth accumulating on Selena's keyboard.

cbear posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:09:35 pm
i was starting to think i'd never find a use for my claw tipped penis.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:09:41 pm
haha or under her nails

lindsay lohandjob posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:11:55 pm
i was under the impression that the reason toxic shock can be caused by tampons is that it over-absorbs the natural ph balanced moisture of the vadge, and allows for overgrowth of toxic bacteria which then enters the blood stream,
not synthetic materials in the tampon.

discongeniality posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:12:58 pm
i think the problem is that synthetic materials are more absorbent.

lindsay lohandjob posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:13:31 pm
ah. makes sense.

lindsay lohandjob posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:13:48 pm
i like to be an educated hypochondriac.

discongeniality posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:14:41 pm
also something about dioxins and cancer
for your longer-term hypochondria

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:14:52 pm
I wonder if she got it out yet

jonleonard posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:15:04 pm
selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 6:45:36 pm
um, my vagina is tight as a fist, stupid

Clearly the perfect size, then, for fisting. Just ram your whole hand up there and grab it.

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:15:39 pm
hahahahaha i will seriously go over there and help fish it out if it means this thread will deliver

e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:16:04 pm
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pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:16:22 pm
do you have latex gloves

lindsay lohandjob posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:16:35 pm
this thread will deliver a tampon baby

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:16:38 pm
lady cave? wtf

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:17:15 pm
ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:05:28 pm
i'm starting to question anthony's experience with the vagina..


never question this. ever.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:17:44 pm
HEEEEEEELP this isn't working

e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:18:31 pm
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e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:18:51 pm
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e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:19:43 pm
if it's not coming out now, i don't think it's coming out without the help of a doctor or friend.

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:19:45 pm
(8:14) selentard: I am going to the er.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:19:59 pm
will lubing up my hands help?

jonleonard posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:20:06 pm
Listen. My father was a dolphin, so I inherited his prehensile penis. I can just slide it up there and grab it, no problem.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:20:19 pm
ange, get in there.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:20:31 pm
i don't want to go to the ER :(

brindle posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:21:22 pm
what does it take to get a sticky around here?

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:21:51 pm
white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 7:59:00 pm
so how was everyone's weekend otherwise?

plague posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:09:06 pm
Id hate to see the filth accumulating on Selena's keyboard.

cbear posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:09:35 pm
i was starting to think i'd never find a use for my claw tipped penis.

HHHHHAAAAAAAHAJSDAJKDJSAH

jonleonard posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:22:00 pm
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discongeniality posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:23:06 pm
ladycave.

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:23:17 pm
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pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:23:19 pm
put me in, coach, i can totally solve this problem. i'm a problem solver.

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:23:55 pm
do it, pete

simmer posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:25:42 pm
jesus christ. selena, if that ball of germy fibers is still lodged in your vagde, please go to the doctor. TSS can kill you. get on your hands and knees and fish it out yourself, or find a pal (doctor), but just get it out.

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:29:48 pm
don't be mean. people should start offering to take selena to the hospital. people who also have vaginas. i don't think she'll let me fix it, despite the fact that i think i could totally do it

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:31:10 pm
people should just take care of themselves without having to have a million folks escort them.

simmer posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:32:44 pm
oh, petey, i am not being mean! (if you were even referring to me) i am weirdly concerned about this, despite never even meeting selena before. get thee to the doctor, lady.

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:32:50 pm
people should people should


people should live in the forest and use leaves as maxi pads

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:36:25 pm
i'm going to get a hysterectomy while i'm at it. then no worries ever.

brindle posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:39:48 pm
or hay, like in the red tent

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:39:55 pm
seriously just let me have one good crack at it and then we'll get you to the hospital

i swear i'll have it out within ten minues

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:40:01 pm
what annie said

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:40:15 pm
go to the hospital stupid

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:41:16 pm
okay okay go to the hospital

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:42:12 pm
let pete do it and i'll take pictures

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:43:15 pm
are you fucking serious? OK.

annieb posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:44:07 pm
ugh. not reading this thread anymore.

brindle posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:44:12 pm
yeah, let pete do it

ilikerufies posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:45:57 pm
thread delivering tampon babyasdlkfj;lakjslkweoriakjlklllolololololool

geezis christ go to the er already, even

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:46:48 pm
white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:23:55 pm
do it, pete


i take that back. I'm starting to get grossed out now

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:47:55 pm
what's gross about putting fingers in a hooha? Oh yeah you're gay. Nevermind.

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:48:07 pm
hahahahahaha COME ON PETER

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:49:09 pm
i'll totally do it if ian can take pictures

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:49:44 pm
yeah I'm gay ,and you graciuously offer to do it from 300 miles away. If it was my girlfriend I'd suck it out with my face.
Grossed out at the possible opportunism and lack of dignity going on here.

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:49:52 pm
hokay. you have to have that shit in there for a good while before toxic shock sets in. how long's it been there

selena, leave it alone for a few hours and try later. if you can't get that shit out by tomw morning THEN go to the ER

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:49:58 pm
3000*

plague posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:56:09 pm
its hard being a lady

professor$1.50 posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:57:40 pm
IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:48:07 pm
hahahahahaha COME ON PETER




and also, what 9yo said

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:58:06 pm
catherine i'm taking yr advice

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:59:30 pm
:(

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:59:32 pm
stop poking at it, it's prolly all inflamed.

it....hasn't been days, has it?

lindsay lohandjob posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:02:13 pm
LUBE. FRIEND.

krebstar posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:10:01 pm
my friend in college was really drunk and forgot to take out her tampon before having sex with her boyfriend. she woke up the next morning didn't find it, so put another tampon in. SHE HAD A TAMPON IN HER FOR 4 MONTHS before going to the doctor and realizing what had happened. she never got toxic shock but did have endometriosis which is not related.

i don't know you but I would totally help you get it out. I have really short nails and am half asian too and this stuff totally doesn't phase me.

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:11:38 pm
IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:42:12 pm
let pete do it

brindle posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:44:12 pm
yeah, let pete do it

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 8:49:52 pm
hokay. if pete can't get that shit out by tomw morning THEN go to the er

mrmoustache posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:16:15 pm
Don't die Selena, don't die...

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:18:59 pm
how did you get the ben wa ball out?

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:19:28 pm
ben got stuck in there?

mrmoustache posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:20:21 pm
think selena finally went to the fee-mergency room.

e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:26:20 pm
or hopefully washing her hands.

jose posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:33:48 pm
wow

e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:36:31 pm


e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:37:11 pm
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mrmoustache posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:37:17 pm
we use html here.

e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:37:44 pm
html doesn't get the tampon out though

jonleonard posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:38:56 pm
In the future it will.

e_w posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 9:40:56 pm


rachel posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 10:13:17 pm
TSS is correlated with synthetics because tiny fibers shed off the synthetic material and stay in there, then bacteria grow on the fibers. cotton has a different structure and doesn't shed little bits.

something like 1 in 100,000 people get TSS, so I srsly would not panic, selena.

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 10:23:56 pm
how many out of 100,000 get the tampon stuck in there for 24+ hours, would you say

Transmigrant posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 10:41:03 pm
PCD posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 10:23:56 pm
how many out of 100,000 get the tampon stuck in there for 24+ hours, would you say


how many of the 100,000 has Ian boned?

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 10:43:00 pm
.001 percent

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:02:14 pm
toxic shock stories all are about ppl leaving them shits in there for like a month

ben posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:12:50 pm
lynch is removing this tampon.

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:14:22 pm
yep!!

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:22:20 pm
no i dont think his peen could reach it.

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:23:15 pm
oh

snap

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:30:14 pm
(11:29) selenster: i didn't get it out but lynch did

ange posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:31:05 pm
he got an egg stuck in a vagina once so he's experienced.

rachel posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:31:06 pm
good man, lynch.

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:31:32 pm
it only took 7 1/2 hours of posting about it

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:32:08 pm
there better be pix.

9 y.o. virgin posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:32:22 pm
0_0

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:33:50 pm
there are apparently.

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:34:37 pm
another thread where everyone wins

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:35:56 pm
or loses...

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:36:35 pm
would this thread happen in iraq? No. That is why the USA is better and why we must wage war until all the world can have stuck tamp threads.

ben posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:36:51 pm
perhaps this is a new career for lynch.

pcd posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:37:32 pm
mathew lynch: freelance gynecologist

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:38:53 pm
i have never been more mortified in my life. EVER. at one point i said through hysterical sobs, "thank you mom and dad for giving me the gift of life so i could create such hilarity for humanity"

white_trash posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:40:09 pm
did you at least blow him afterwards

IMEYER posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:40:35 pm
hahaha anthony, i was gonna say, a blowjob would be good payment.

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:41:14 pm
no, we smoked a cigarette and he went home (but not before photos were taken)

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:42:24 pm
post pix STAT

666 SKULLS posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:52:08 pm
"i got a tampon stuck up my pussy"

the new pick up line for '07

selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:58:04 pm
so um...anyone want to go on a date?

MakersMarkII posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:58:19 pm
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ben posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:01:08 am
sigh.

Transmigrant posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:01:24 am
selena posted this on March 25th, 2007 @ 11:58:04 pm
so um...anyone want to go on a date?


fdnajsfndsjafndjlanfjdas only lynch. only hilarious. post photos of the adventure.

pcd posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:01:39 am
selenasbloodytampon.jpg

AvengingdiscomodfatheR posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:02:39 am
If I shook my head anymore my head would fall off.

If I sighed anymore my lungs would collapse.

lynch posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:03:12 am
i rule.
Selena is hilarious.

MakersMarkII posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:03:14 am
it looks like lynch is lynching a little red baby in a swaddling cloth

Berzerko posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:04:17 am
that looks exactly like a lucky rabbit's foot.

ben posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:04:30 am
congratulations, it's a boy. 3 oz.

AvengingdiscomodfatheR posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:04:56 am
Neighbors


Then: borrow some sugar

Now: extricate femproduct

666 SKULLS posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:07:20 am
can someone animate that thing and make it wiggle and run off like the chestburster in Alien...please!

Transmigrant posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:07:52 am
avengingDiscomodfather posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:04:56 am
Neighbors


Then: borrow some sugar

Now: extricate femproduct




sadfghhgdsdgfdssfghj

streetfight posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:08:27 am
this is the wrongest shit i've ever heard of.

brindle posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:08:59 am
wait, so what method did he finally use to extract it?

IMEYER posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:09:08 am
i love you lynch

selena posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:09:39 am
he diddled it out with two fingers

streetfight posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:09:51 am
How did that foot long chord get stuck inside of you?



CAVERNOUS VAGINA!!!!!!

lindsay lohandjob posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:09:56 am
wow

MakersMarkII posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:10:03 am
did u cum

brindle posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:10:26 am
could he see it or something? i'm perplexed.

streetfight posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:10:33 am
selena posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:09:39 am
he diddled it out with two fingers

I know you were whinning about wanting a date, but c'mon.

ben posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:10:41 am
lynch for mayor.

AvengingdiscomodfatheR posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:10:49 am
leaving thread in hopes of never seeing any other photos from this affair

666 SKULLS posted this on March 26th, 2007 @ 12:11:29 am
STAND BACK 100 FEET

EMERGENCY FINGERBLAST!!!

selena posted this o